I'm Not the Only Murderer in My Retirement Home, by Fergus Craig (REVIEW) -- A Darkly-Comic Seniors' Home Murder Mystery

I’ve never been one of those people who say they can’t wait to “grow old”.

I couldn’t wait to “grow up”, but old? No way.

And yet, as I suspect most of my fellow Gen Xers—and probably all Boomers, out there—have gradually come to realize, is that doing so beats the alternative.

So maybe it’s time to reframe how we look at aging.

If we do our best to maintain our health, stay as fit as possible, keep our brains active, and hang onto our friends, then getting old...er... doesn’t sound like such a scary and dreadful future, right?

Not convinced? (I’m still trying to convince myself, here; this is a work in progress.) Do yourself a solid and pick up a copy of Fergus Craig’s delightful I’m Not the Only Murderer in My Retirement Home, and see if reading that doesn’t put your mind at ease a bit.

 

 

After spending too many decades in prison, just-released ex-serial killer Carol feels like she’s suddenly landed in the middle of a dream, getting to live out the remainder of her “golden years” in luxury at Sheldon Oaks—the poshest-of-posh retirement homes in London.

She’s excited by the prospect of starting a new life—one where, just maybe, she can actually make some friends, and enjoy “normal” stuff.

(Not that she regrets any of the several murders she committed—erm, was convicted for, no need to talk about any as-yet-undiscovered ones—since they were clearly necessary, but still... now in her mid-70s, a less-murder-y life sounds a right treat.)

Of course, that dream promptly goes straight down the tubes, when one of her fellow residents—an ex-police-commissioner, no less—plunges from the rooftop to his untimely demise... which is, in short order, deemed not an accident.

In other words, he was murdered... and just like that, Carol’s heretofore-secret past is exposed to all and sundry.

She’s immediately hauled in for questioning.

Only problem is, Carol knows she most definitely isn’t the killer (this time)... but she’s dying to find out who is.

After the police begrudgingly release her—“not enough evidence...yet”—and another person at the retirement home is gruesomely murdered—someone whom Carol couldn’t possibly have killed (but, of course, will likely still be blamed for)—she realizes it really is up to her to figure out whodunnit.

But, unlike her years of killing all alone, she’ll finally have some help—a little crew of friends-turned-elderly-sleuths (each, interestingly, some variety of justice-seeking professional, when in their primes... but now, regarded merely as doddering and “old”).

At least, Carol tells herself, no one will need to be killed.

Probably...

 

 

Going back to what I said earlier, I’m Not the Only Murderer in My Retirement Home is an absolute delight.

It could easily have skewed cutesy-cozy—getting too caught up in old-people puns and whatnot—but it didn’t. 

Instead, it combines wit and charm with... spunk. Chutzpah. A little sexy (even briefly skirting around the edges of geriatric raunchiness, if that’s a thing!). 

It’s hilarious... and it also feels real. No one—no matter their infirmities or abilities—is mocked, here... yet nor do any of the characters do something it would be nigh impossible physically for them to do.

Rather, author Craig respects, understands, and enjoys his characters, allowing them to be as funny (intentionally and not-so), audacious, obnoxious, anxious, vain, shy (and every other thing each of us, at any age, can feel or be), and plays off of that. 

The characters talk and act like older people, sure... but they’re not dead yet(!), nor do they act it. 

Is I’m Not the Only Murderer a clever mystery? It is—I didn’t quite know where it was going, until the grand denouement. Is it laugh-out-loud funny, at times? Absolutely. Would I love to see some of these characters again, in another book? You betcha.

[The million-dollar question: Am I the teensiest bit less scared of “growing old”? Maybe even that. (Maybe.)]

Bottom line, just put I’m Not the Only Murderer in My Retirement Home in your cart—physical or virtual—stat. Because no matter how young, old, or anywhere in between you are (or feel), you deserve a fun read... and this one delivers in spades on that front.

~GlamKitty

[Thanks to Penguin Random House and Berkley Publishing Group for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are, as always, entirely my own.]

Atlas of Unknowable Things, by McCormick Templeman (REVIEW) -- Modern Gothic Tale of Witches & Werewolves Needs Less Words, More Bite

The cut-throat, “publish-or-perish” world of academia. 

Ancient manuscripts. 

An historian with a secret side quest.

An ex-bestie turned bitter rival.

A tiny, elite college, nestled high in the stunning peaks of the Rocky Mountains... where winter is always coming.

These are the bones of McCormick Templeman’s gothic-leaning thriller, Atlas of Unknowable Things.

 

 

Ever since Robin Quain and her best friend, a fellow historian, fell out, it seems like nothing’s been going right.

Her beloved dog crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

Her boyfriend unceremoniously dumped her.

And, she hasn't experienced a breakthrough in her dissertation—arguing the European witch hunts were as much about getting rid of powerful women as eradicating suspected practitioners of witchcraft—leaving her PhD more pipe dream than reality.

Until, that is, she runs across a letter mentioning correspondence between Joan of Arc and the infamous French knight, Gilles de Rais, which sparks new avenues of exploration.

A pharmacological connection... how the ancient witch hysteria might play out in modern times... and other mythical creatures.

When her research unearths a witch-adjacent, recent case—a young woman horrifically mauled by what locals believe was a werewolf—in the Rocky Mountains, she feels a flicker of hope.

After stumbling on tiny, private Hildegard College—renowned for its botanical gardens and vast collection of archaic manuscripts (including, importantly, pharmacopoeias)... situated only a few miles from the attack... and welcoming to visiting academics—she hatches a plan.

Secure a residency at Hildegard to study the manuscripts by day, and search for clues about the werewolf tale after-hours.

Once Robin is actually at Hildegard, though, she discovers it isn’t what she expected.

The handful of faculty staying on over the winter break are friendly enough, but also a little... weird.

The professor whose research might’ve answered some of Robin’s questions has been missing for several months... yet none of the faculty seem particularly worried.

She’s woken by strange sounds in the middle of the night, and sees lights flickering through the forest and across the frigid lake... a lake she’s been warned is off-limits.

Also, cryptic messages keep popping up, but only Robin is receiving them.

What starts out as frustration—being thwarted at every turn—soon becomes fear, as the campus—and the dense, dark forest surrounding it, high in the snowy mountains—begin feeling more like a trap she can’t escape.

 

 

Atlas of Unknowable Things absolutely wasn't what I thought it was going to be.

First, the positives...

Templeman has crafted a dense, twisty tale, here—which sounds promising, on the surface.

It pulls from many different areas of thought; by turns delving into the occult, mythical lore, religion, and botanical knowledge... all connected, at least somewhat, by their historical significances. 

Throughout, the story has strong modern-gothic undertones, maintaining a sense of dread. Uncertainty and doubt. Panic. Eventually, even the fear of going insane.

The setting for all of this was unexpected. Normally, this tale—firmly rooted in history—would take place in far-off European mountains... not the Rockies (so, kudos for the location).

Now for the not-so-goods...

My biggest quibble with Atlas of Unknowable Things is its density—there are a lot of (well-researched) scientific and mystical tidbits woven throughout. Too many, really.

There are also, as I said, a lot of Big Ideas swirling about. While I appreciate that research should begin with multiple ideas, until one can narrow the focus, it isn't exactly scintillating to read something that feels like part of that process.

Unfortunately, the combination of all those larger ideas and minute details slow things down to a snail’s pace. 

[Full disclosure, I actually wound up skimming numerous passages, just so I could get back to some action. Or human interaction. Anything interesting, really.]

On the whole, Atlas is a unique tale... but only earns a qualified recommendation, from me. 

If you prefer more action and dialog (and a little more focus) in your wintry reads, chances are you’d find this one a real slog.

But, if you crave a deep, dark, classic gothic tome, full of contemplation, atmospheric pauses, and silences—and are unbothered by long, intellectual deep-dives—this could be a worthy candidate for your TBR list.

~GlamKitty

Made You Look, by Tanya Grant (REVIEW) -- When Being an Influencer is Murder

Jetting off for cool photoshoots in exotic places. 

Being the instantly-recognizable face of high-end luxury products and fantasy experiences.

Enjoying the rush from seeing “likes” numbering in the hundreds of thousands on your last Instagram post or TikTok video.

Ah, the glamorous life of the Influencer...

Or so it’s easy to think. 

But, like the old saying goes, “all that glitters is not gold”, there’s a less-shiny, less-sexy side to being a social media darling.

Tanya Grant peels back the curtain to give us a peek at what being an internet sensation is really like in her debut thriller, Made You Look. 

 

 

A week-long, all-expenses-paid trip to Reverie Retreat, a posh, not-yet-open-to-the-public ecolodge nestled deep in the Catskills.

For mega-Influencer Sydney Kent—along with her little entourage of fellow influencers, stylist, photog, and publicity manager—it’s a sweet gig, posting content hyping the new retreat prior to its grand opening.

What influencer wouldn’t jump at an invitation to create magical, golden-hour vignettes against a winter-wonderland backdrop of snow-covered pine trees, rolling mountains, and crystal-clear waterfalls?

And then, get to enjoy total relaxation and privacy in individual cabins lined up along the dramatic cliff’s edge?

It’s a dream gig, no doubt... and none of the team think their efforts over the next week will be anything short of amazing. 

Caitlyn, the beautiful, curvaceous foil to Sydney’s ethereal, waiflike beauty... who can only dream of someday achieving the same level of fame and adoration that Syd commands. 

Muscular, movie-star handsome Jeff—aka Sydney’s boyfriend—who boasts a sizable fandom of his own.

Nash, the creative genius doubling as stylist and makeup artist for all the shoots.

Brent, the straight-arrow manager who handles most of the bookings and all of the legal and fiscal paperwork.

And Lucy, best friends with Sydney since their freshman year of college, now the official photographer for Team Sydney.

                                                *****

For a group of twenty-somethings who’ll be spending an entire week together, things start off well enough... but that soon changes.

A blizzard-level snowstorm leaves the group with no Wi-Fi (so, no way to post content), no electricity (no heat), and no cell service (no calling for help).

When they realize they also have no food, the mood plummets even further.

But, when one member winds up dead—clearly not from accidental causes—the trip that was supposed to be so perfect turns into a nightmare.

Suddenly, no one trusts anyone... because either a murderous intruder is lurking somewhere out there, just waiting to strike again... or one of their party is a killer.

And as unbelievable as the latter sounds, if that is the case, well... what do any of them really know about anything??

 

 

While I remain utterly perplexed by the popularity of a great many Influencers, I find the whole trend a fascinating thing to observe... making Made You Look an easy must-read, for me.

Fortunately, author Grant proves herself more than up to the task of showcasing the best, worst, and everything else about those immersed in the strange new world of influencing.

Most importantly, all of the characters feel very real... like any of the older Gen Zs one might encounter on any given day, out in the wild. [I’m in L.A., so they’re pretty much legion, here.] 

But to her credit, in that realness she also makes them well-rounded, with plenty of ick factor, as well as a whole bunch of relatable, more likable stuff. (There are even moments of deeply-felt pathos and sadness, which raise the emotional bar on the whole story... but I won’t spoil those, here.)

In other words, it’s easy to sorta hate any of the characters one minute, then totally get where they’re coming from, the next. 

Grant also does an excellent job of creating an atmospheric space that grows progressively smaller (and more ominous) by the minute... not a “locked room” mystery, precisely, but certainly a tightly-contained suspense—which is highly-effective.

Perhaps most importantly, though, the “whodunnit” (and “whydunnit”) neither come out of nowhere... nor ring untrue; the ending feels satisfying, and worth the time spent invested with these characters.

Made You Look is a modern, timely, engrossing read for suspense and thriller fans... and if that sounds like you? You’ll grab a copy of this one pronto and curl up with it on a cold night, with the lights turned down low.

~GlamKitty

[Thanks to Penguin Random House and Berkley Publishing Group for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are, as always, entirely my own.]

 

No Rest for the Wicked, by Rachel Louise Adams (REVIEW) -- Halloween Town or Murder Town? Sometimes it's the same thing...

Small towns. Unless you’ve lived in been a regular visitor to one, they’re kinda hard to wrap your head around.

Like realizing your neighbors know so much about you... stuff which everyone else

in town eventually winds up knowing, too. (Small towns, they do love to talk.)

 

But gossip is rarely truth—at least, not the full truth—which means all sorts of misunderstandings can happen.

 

And, when the veracity of such isn’t questioned (or refuted)? Hurt feelings, disappointments, and resentments can linger for years... as in Rachel Louise Adams’s debut thriller, No Rest for the Wicked.

 

 

Dolores Hawthorne fled Little Horton, Wisconsin (aka “Halloween Town”, thanks to its lavish celebration of the seasonally-macabre) nearly two decades ago... and didn’t plan on returning.

 

Ever.

 

But, when someone from the FBI calls her in L.A., saying her father, ex-mayor of Little Horton and former U.S. Senator, has gone missing—and suggesting that Dolores should really be there—it seems there’s no way of avoiding it.

 

Going back “home”.

 

Almost as soon as she steps off the plane, though, she’s immediately reminded of all the things she tried so hard to leave behind.

 

The town’s insane obsession with October 31, sure, but also its violent history of actual deaths occurring around that day. 

 

Her stepmother... and the half-brother and half-sister, now grown up. 

 

And the ex-boyfriend she abruptly broke up with... never to speak to, again. 

 

Little Horton, of course, has always had plenty of thoughts about Dolores’ hasty departure... but no one actually knows the truth of what happened.

 

But now? Dolores fears that truth may finally be rearing its ugly head, because a letter—one which her father was apparently in the midst of writing, when he vanished—is addressed to her... warning her to trust no one.

 

And the fact that all of this is going down, during Halloween week? Has Dolores feeling way too much like one of the hapless teens in all those horror films... “Whatever you do, do NOT go running into the woods alone!! Well, damn, you just ran into the woods...”.

 

 

Atmospheric and suspenseful, with surprises and “OooOoh!” moments slowly revealing themselves around unexpected corners, No Rest for the Wicked is a treat during the long nights of autumn. (Obviously, the Halloween theme doesn’t hurt.)

 

There’s even cats—yes, actual CATS—featuring as supporting characters, here! (The cover doesn’t lie, I’m happy to say.)

 

Newcomer Rachel Louise Adams writes confidently, depicting life in a small Midwestern town—and how it feels once you’ve left it all behind—with ease.

 

If you’re short on plans over Halloween weekend—or during any lazy fall or wintry week, for that matter—No Rest for the Wicked would be a great way to spend some cozy reading time.

 

Just make sure you’ve got those doors and windows locked, first...

 

~GlamKitty

 

 

 

[Thanks to St. Martin's Press and Minotaur Books for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are, as always, entirely my own.] 

The Librarians, by Sherry Thomas (REVIEW) -- There's More to Your Local Librarian than Meets the Eye...

Some jobs just lend themselves to stereotypes.

 

Take librarians. Say the word, and almost everyone envisions something.

 

For most people, that probably looks like an older female—matronly, with grey hair, a cardigan over her buttoned-up dress, high-Rx glasses, sensible shoes, and a stern expression. (Lots of “shushing” with this one.)

 

The rest go straight into fantasyland, with the “Sexy Librarian” trope—beautiful younger woman, long hair in a messy bun, buxom chest straining at the buttons of her shirt, snug pencil skirt, not-really-necessary glasses, and impractical high heels. (The secret dominatrix just waiting to get her freak on.) 

 

So it’s like a breath of fresh air, that Sherry Thomas offers up not one, but four, stereotype-busting librarians in her latest mystery novel, The Librarians... and tosses in a murder or two for them to solve, as well.

 

 

A cozy, suburban branch of the Austin, Texas public library system. 

Nothing fancy, just a friendly, inviting space, serving the local community, manned by a competent, knowledgeable staff. 

 

Sophie, as head librarian, ably helms the branch... an efficient but standoffish single mom who takes her job oh-so-seriously... and has a very big secret she guards with her life.

 

Astrid, a late-twenties free spirit with Swedish roots, is quirky, kind, and interesting... but also incredibly lonely, seeing good things happening for everyone but herself.

 

Jonathan, the hunky, ex-high-school quarterback, who decided to become a librarian after finding solace in books during his military stint... and now longs, more than anything, to find true love (after finally finding his way out of the closet).

 

And newcomer Hazel... quick to point out she’s merely a clerk (having no librarian degree to her name), is a sophisticated half-Asian, half-American (but until very-recently, all-Japanese) transplant, dabbling in books because her grandmother suggested it.

 

What none of them—even with all their real-life messiness—ever expected, though, was to be dropped in the middle of one... no, make that two mysterious deaths... after a couple of unrelated people were seen at—or in the immediate vicinity of—the library, on its first ever Murder Mystery Gaming Night.

 

Two people who were, in all likelihood, murdered.

 

From that point, everything changes... for the horrified library patrons, certainly, but more so, for the library staff... who each, in one curious way or another, seem to have had some connection to the newly-deceased.

 

The investigating police are highly suspicious.

 

But possibly even worse? The librarians worry that more deaths are yet to occur.

 

Including, possibly, one of more of their own...

 

 

Any book by Sherry Thomas (with multiple series under her belt) is pretty much guaranteed to be a good read, and for me, The Librarians is definitely that.

 

But... I have a feeling this may be a polarizing book to some.

 

Not because it features LGBTQ characters—which it does (although there are no graphic scenes among those of any orientation, here)—but because this book is first and foremost a character study.

 

Put another way, The Librarians is maybe one-third about the mystery, and two-thirds about the characters... who they are, why they are, and how events in their lives have shaped them into the individuals we meet, when the story begins.

 

[If you’re thinking to yourself, “well, that’s part a major part of any psychological suspense”, then I agree with  you wholeheartedly... but I also recognize that some readers may not be expecting such a thoughtful look into motivations which inform character... but may/may not have much to do with the murders.]

 

Bottom line for me is I enjoyed The Librarians immensely. It takes the time to let us understand and really care about the leads. The various issues each person is facing/has dealt with provide great richness and depth.

 

Solving the mystery of the deaths is interesting, as well... and not entirely expected.

 

Above all, The Librarians is an absolute love letter to librarians, everywhere—and in an ancillary way, to anyone who has ever loved going to the library. 

 

And that, in my book, makes it a total winner.

 

If you’re a booklover looking for a long-weekend read? Give The Librarians serious consideration.

~GlamKitty

 

 

 

[Thanks to Penguin Random House and Berkley Publishing Group for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are, as always, entirely my own.]

 

A Killer Wedding, by Joan O'Leary (REVIEW) -- Weddings of the Super-Rich Aren't Like Yours... and That's a Good Thing(!)

Who doesn’t love a great big wedding?

 

The idea of two people, symbolically sharing their Happily-Ever-After with those nearest-and-dearest... even for the semi-cynical amongst us, it’s hard to resist.

 

But make it a celebrity to-do—where one of them is famous (or infamous), or insanely-wealthy—and suddenly, it’s a whole different ballgame.

 

[Plus, zero chance most of us would merit an invitation...]

 

If any of us had the opportunity to attend The Wedding of the Year, we’d RSVP “Yes!”, wouldn’t we?

 

Especially if we had no clue, going into it, that we’d be RSVPing to the scene of a murder... as in Joan O’Leary’s A Killer Wedding.

 

 

It’s quite a coup when Christine, a lowly staff writer for elite Bespoke Weddings magazine—which only covers the most-fabulous nuptials—is singled out to cover the Wedding of the Year, the Ripton-Murphy union. 

 

Grandmother-of-the-groom, octogenarian Gloria Beaufort, is the founder of global cosmetics conglomerate, Glo (an über-trendy premium beauty brand)... and she’s handpicked Christine to be the sole reporter present during the lavishly-festive weekend.

 

Why Christine? No one—including her editor—has a clue, but the twenty-something isn’t about to question it... especially not when everything’s taking place in Ballymoon, an Irish castle-cum-luxury hotel (and notably distant from the Eastern U.S. seaboard, where the Ripton clan, most of the guests, and Bespoke’s offices are all located). 

 

Of course, all that glitters is not gold... and Christine’s first day is bonkers.

 

Dealing with the neurotic event planner. Attending dress fittings for the jittery bride and her coterie of champagne-gulping bridesmaids. Sitting down to a fractious dinner with the entire Ripton clan (who seemingly can’t stand each other)... honestly, there aren't enough glasses of champagne to begin to deal with all of that.

 

The only thing missing is Gloria, who wasn’t feeling well and asked for a tray to be sent up, instead.

 

Anxious to interview the grand dame, Christine consoles herself with the knowledge that tomorrow will be better anyway, after she sleeps off the  jetlag.

 

But when morning dawns, it isn’t the gentle sound of Irish rain which pulls her from slumber. It’s a piercing scream—coming from Gloria’s room.

 

The assorted pajama-clad Riptons—and Christine—stumble down the hallway from their rooms,  to find bride-to-be Jane kneeling over Gloria’s very bloody—and very dead—body. 

 

Obviously, a murder.

 

And the family’s immediate consensus? That no one—NO ONE—will know about Gloria’s untimely demise... until after the weekend is over.

 

Which means a gag order on Christine... aside, of course, from happy wedding chatter to titillate the magazine’s avid readers.

 

So, while the weekend stretches on—seemingly endlessly, now—Christine watches as nerves fray to the breaking point... and finds herself wondering which of the assembled family or invited guests might’ve had the most to gain by Gloria’s death.

 

The uptight son, recently named Glo’s CEO... who’s finding the position comes with more headaches (like a huge lawsuit) than perks. His wife, an artist (with no actual talent), who doesn’t seem particularly happy... although a glass (or three) of bubbly makes things better.

 

One grandson, who can’t stay clean and sober to save his life... and his beautiful, long-suffering society wife (who’s harboring a massive secret of her own). 

 

And then there’s Graham, the handsome grandson-who-can-do-no-wrong... and his betrothed, Jane, a grade-school teacher with a modest background, whom everyone writes off as “boring” and “plain”... but what do they know, really?

 

Throw in the family’s priest, clearly making the most of the high life and celebrity status granted him, as such. And one very famous (erm, infamous) movie star,  flown out on Gloria’s command, to be a bridesmaid... despite the fact that she and Jane had never even met.

 

The more Christine chats with and observes the various family and wedding party members, the less appealing she finds their lives... full of backbiting, infighting, grubby little secrets, and outright unpleasantness.

 

The deeper she digs, the more she realizes the story she really wants to tell actually has nothing to do with another over-the-top wedding... and everything to do with revealing the tarnish and rot beneath the glo(w).

 

There’s just one big question: will the person responsible for Gloria’s murder let allow her to live long enough to tell that tale..?

 

 

A Killer Wedding has similar vibes to a handful of HBO (Netflix, Amazon Prime)—shows over the past several years (often starring Nicole Kidman, plus a handful of other accomplished, successful, mid-life Hollywood beauties)—wherein Very Wealthy, Privileged People Behave Badly (but Possibly Redeem Themselves... Somewhat). 

 

[That isn't a diss. As humans, we have a very long history of wanting to see what the “fancy people” really get up to... and it makes for some highly-entertaining viewing/reading today, as much as then.] 

 

So yes, it’s a  guilty-pleasure kind of effervescent fun... with a good helping of humor, sustained suspense, and a protagonist who, herself, isn’t precisely lily-white (because who'd want that?!).

 

Throw in a solution to the whole thing that I really didn’t see coming, and you’ve got a cracking mystery, that’s a pretty fabulous take-me-away-from-it-all-(to-Ireland-if-you-please) bit of yummy escapism.

 

Go ahead. Put A Killer Wedding in your cart (on your list), posthaste. Whether you fall on the side of dewy-eyed, HEA-lovers or wedding-averse cynics, this one delivers. 

 ~GlamKitty

[Thanks to William Morrow for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are, as always, entirely my own.]  

Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World, by Mark Waddell (REVIEW) -- Making Deals with a Devil...

The job market is TOUGH.

So what’s a recent college grad to do, armed with a shiny degree in whatever, saddled with a mountain of debt... and finding few—if any—job prospects?

 

Go to work for a secretive multinational corporation dealing in “problem-solving”... essentially, a “fixer” for issues no one dares talk about, outside of hushed boardrooms? 

 

You bet.

 

And then one day, make a deal with what may be an actual agent of Hell... all for the sake of a promotion?

 

I mean, sure, that's a plan.

 

Of course, such deals never come without a few strings... as one young man quickly discovers in Mark Waddell’s darkly-satirical take on climbing the corporate ladder, Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World.

 

 

After several years of feeling like the lowest man on the totem pole in Dark Enterprises’ Human Resources department, earnest, cardigan-clad Colin receives the dreaded notice: he has one week to fix his latest screw-up, or face termination.

Problem is, at Dark Enterprises, “termination” means complete-and-utter, never-to-be-seen-again, finality.  

 

(And honestly, he should know; his department is often responsible for enacting terminations.)

Colin very, very much doesn’t want to be terminated... but sadly, doesn’t have a clue how to change the unhappy fate awaiting him.

 

Until, that is, a shadowy stranger approaches him one night.

 

The hooded visage—only inky, swirling darkness where its face should be—says he’ll grant Colin’s greatest wish... in return for one very small favor (to be determined at a later date). 

 

With nothing to lose, Colin agrees.

 

His ask? A big promotion at work... one that’ll give him genuine power, real respect, and a better paycheck.

 

The next day, his wish is granted(ish). Colin becomes assistant to one of Dark Enterprises’ top executives—the formidable Ms. Crenshaw—moving out of his lowly spot in the Human Resources cubicle farm and into a posh office space on the corporation’s prestigious 13^th floor.

 

Sure, his new position might not be quite as fancy as he’d envisioned—given that his main tasks entail getting his boss’ Starbucks orders and managing her calendar—but whatever. It’s still a major step up. 

 

(Plus, there’s the whole avoiding-permanent-termination aspect... no small potatoes, that.)

 

OF COURSE, though, things soon go sideways. (Deals with the devil? Always do.)

 

What Colin really succeeded in doing was freeing a creature of untold evil that had been bound for centuries... and letting it loose on Manhattan. 

 

And this entity? It’s HUNGRY... 

 

As hundreds—and then thousands—of people start disappearing all over the city, Colin realizes it’s up to him to somehow fix the epic mess he’s unwittingly created.

 

And if he just so happens to ascend to the highest echelons of Dark Enterprises, after, oh, just SAVING THE WORLD, well... so be it.

 

 

First off, Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World is a delightfully off-kilter romp. 

 

In the best Urban Fantasy form, it gives us a flawed-but-likable hero in Colin... an ordinary (fine, nerdy) young man, who’s tired of being on the receiving end of mockery and being taken advantage of at work. 

 

(When you learn why one of his colleagues in Human Resources is so horrid to him, ouch... it hurts.)

 

He’s also blessed with a small band of merry (well, and not-so-merry) helpers on his eventual quest of world-saving—another key ingredient in UF stories. 

 

There’s his best friend (and flatmate) Amira, a tiny dynamo who’s brilliant at maths and physics. 

 

Eric, the ridiculously-hunky, sweet guy from Amira’s yoga class, who—shockingly(!)—seems well on the way to becoming Colin’s boyfriend. 

 

And then there’s Lex, a gender-neutral librarian in Dark Enterprises’ vast archives, who has little patience for Colin’s problems... yet they always end up helping him, anyways.

 

Colin Gets Promoted... also features cunning worldbuilding (another important element in any fantastical story). In this case, though, the lion’s share of worldbuilding takes place within the walls of an office building—which makes for a fun change of pace.

 

And finally, the baddie is truly bad... but in another clever twist, so are ninety percent of the characters! (Dark Enterprises is, unequivocally, not a nice place.)  Once you get over that realization, and just go with it, the story is a charmer.

 

Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World may not be for everyone... but if quirky, smart, funny, poignant, and thoroughly-modern Urban Fantasy sounds like it might be a hoot? You’ll add this one to your TBR list, like RIGHT NOW.

~GlamKitty

[Thanks to Berkley Publishing Group for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are, as always, entirely my own.]