When You Gaze Too Long Into the Abyss... Look Out for Those Telling You to Gaze There (Dark Circles Book REVIEW)

If there’s one thing I know a little something about, it’s finding myself. 

Or—and this is definitely a more accurate way to put it—“being on an endless journey of continually trying to find myself”.

No one goes through life unscathed. There are bumps in the road, myriad traumas (both major and minor), and Oh, So. Much. baggage that each of us totes along, wherever we go. 

But, how do we attack that journey… that is the question. From flat-out denying there even is any learning to be done [in other words, flying the bird at the idea of any and all navel-gazing], to moderate [and essentially solitary] forms of self-exploration—books, online seminars, etc., to time [and boatloads of $] spent on professional therapists, to [once again, time, and boatloads of $] spent on/in/with in-person retreats, courses, programs [and really, whatever else they elect to brand themselves as]… the options are seemingly endless. 

Basically, though, it all boils down to something pretty basic: wherever you’re at—in your head, via your bank account, and/or reflective of your innate level of willingness to forge your own path, versus flocking to a group thing [because, #comfortinnumbers, yo!]—there’s something, someone, who claims to want to help. To help you.

And… yeah. The nearer you live to a hub of such “help”—hello, L.A.!!!1!—the more of those sources you’re gonna find. [No joke, I know several people who have done—and are still neck-deep in—these über-cultish, pyramid scheme-y, “self-help” things… and it is downright terrifying, how many of them have drunk those particular blends of kool-aid... many of whom still espouse all of the jargon. I wish I didn’t know about this stuff for a fact, but… well, there you are; I do.] 

There could hardly be a more-perfect candidate for… all of that… than the undeniably louche, past-her-starlet period, B-actress, Olivia Reed, in Caite Dolan-Leach’s unputdownable new suspense, Dark Circles. 

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Olivia (Liv) Reed is pretty much at the end of her tether. Recently part of a successful TV series [which sounds like something you’d most likely find on, oh, the WB or possibly AMC] about a young woman haunted by ghosts from her past, she’s now reached a point where—said series having run its course—she has more time than any sort of work on her hands, and—in the way of too many people who don’t necessarily like themselves much, at all (but do enjoy the perks of other people admiring them)—she has maybe, finally, gone just a bit too far with her off-screen antics. [To wit, she’s crashed and burned in what is surely one of the worst ways possible—hugely-ingloriously, undies down for a wee piss on a public street, all while yelling, for a sizable chunk of Manhattan to hear, up at the window of her on-again, off-again (and now, famously-cuckholded) ex-boyfriend’s building… every single bit of which was caught on multiple iPhones and videocams.] In short, Ms. Reed needs a time-out… from everything.

Her long-time (and, obviously, long-suffering) handler, Jess, has a solution: enroll Liv in a few-weeks’ stay at a retreat, a place where the staff have actually dealt with some/any/all of those kinds of issues. [And, notably, in this case, a place that isn’t SoCal, where Liv has already done a number of popular retreats/seminars/cleanses; this time, Jess has chosen the relatively off-the-radar House of Light, in upstate New York.]

As with any struggling person—addict or no—Liv is initially less than thrilled with this plan, but, given the repercussions if/when the news of her latest drugs-alcohol-and-sadness-fueled escapades hit the tabloids (and the internet), she acquiesces begrudgingly to her friend’s solution. [Selling it so that the “overworked actress”, clearly in need of a long-overdue break, was seeking to better herself by taking some time off, to do the necessary things? Only the harshest critics wouldn’t want to give her a chance to do that.]

And so, she enters the House of Light (HOL)… and is promptly met with reality. Namely, that all contact with the outside world is immediately stripped from her, and that she will abide by the rules and practices of the HOL (including mandatory attendance and participation at all workshops, sessions, and crunchy-granola group activities… as well as be in bed by 8:30pm).

It goes… about as well as you’d expect. [Seriously, being so regulated would kill me, so I get it.] One—well, not bright spot, but at least interesting one—is Ava, the woman in the next room over, who likes to chat in whispers on the balcony after lights out. 

And oh, does Ava have a story to tell. 

According to Ava—a local, who has been periodically visiting the HOL for the past few years, to briefly dry out/find herself—there’s a deadly conspiracy afoot… involving young women—each of whom has been connected to the HOL, as a client or as an employee—dying, in questionable circumstances, in the vicinity of the retreat. 

Initially pooh-poohing it, Liv begins to wonder if her new friend might actually be onto something, when another young woman is found dead, just off the retreat's property. When she gets the opportunity to read some of the historical data that Ava has been quietly collecting, she even begins taking the outlandish story more seriously.

The only things Liv has going for her, really, are that she didn’t want to be there in the first place (so, not a willing participant, eager to fall for everything, hook-line-and-sinker), and that she’s been “in the biz” for more than a decade, so she also sees potential in the scandal-adjacent tale that Ava is telling her. 

And, after a successful (temporary) escape attempt, Liv hatches a viable plan: using a couple of old contacts—with the bones of the idea, and some urging, provided by Ava—she figures out how to do a podcast, wherein she will report on the unbelievable happenings, make her own conjectures, and get audience participation. [And really, as something to take the public’s attention off her own personal debacle, it’s pretty ingenious.]

It’s no great surprise that the podcast takes off like wildfire. [Seriously, who hasn’t watched or listened to some true crime something or other… especially when it’s particularly salacious? We crave the unexplained, the mystery which—perhaps, who knows?!—only we can solve.]

But, as with any successful business [and don’t ever fool yourself into thinking that any of these self-help schemes, programs, retreats, or whatever they choose to call themselves, aren’t all about the business (money) end of things; their bottom lines are deadly-serious to them], the naysaying of one lone participant [no matter how modestly-famous] isn’t apt to be tolerated benignly. In short, the HOL won’t go down without one helluva fight.

In this case, though, neither will one minor actress… who has suddenly, finally, found her own voice… her own questions… and her own power.

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Dark Circles was an instantaneous must-read, for me, once I’d discovered what it was about. It hits way too close to home—to my second-hand experiences of this stuff—for it not to resonate strongly.

And, it didn’t disappoint. If Dolan-Leach hasn’t personally spent time in a couple-few “programs”, then she has absolutely spoken with plenty of people who have, because she can talk the talk (and the experience). [That’s really important, in a story such as this; as the reader, you really need to understand how people not only wind up participating in such retreats, events, or seminars… but more importantly, in how a sizable number of them are inclined—whether pre-programmed or hard-wired—to fall, hard, for the rhetoric.]

Another thing I really enjoyed was Olivia’s character. She’s… well, really close to the truth of an awful lot of actors, without much of an internal guidepost or any external ones, to moderate her behaviors and actions. Getting to experience everything from her point of view—and feeling her new (and often, to her, surprising, reactions)—was a great way to understand someone else on a very real level... even if she wasn't always entirely likable. 

There’s a fascinating mystery at the center of Dark Circles, as well as plenty of ripped-from-the-headlines [that would be the tabloid headlines] plotting, to earn it a hearty thumbs up for aficionados of psychological suspense yarns and for social media mavens, alike. Dark Circles is modern, it’s real, and it’s a really good read. 

~GlamKitty